Okay… so this is that moment I told myself would NOT come… that moment when I could no longer keep in my sentiments concerning the following comments:
- “Another boy? Ah man… get ready for a ride”
- “You two didn’t want to try for a girl?” (That’s new… I didn’t know we could choose)
- “Another one? MAN! You got your work cut out for you!!”
Please understand… I know full-well these comments were not meant to hurt or cause frustration. I understand that these are things people say just to say in a moment of conversation without giving full-thought to their meaning. So, if you’re reading this and can recall a time when you’ve said to me or someone else the above statements (or likewise- there are plenty more!), I am not upset with you. I simply want to share with EVERYONE that yes, I’m having another boy… and I’m completely fine and grateful for the blessing.
I grew up as one of three girls my parents were blessed to have (despite our craziness!). However, I recognized in college my distinct desire and heart to help young boys. As an education major, the statistics were clear and alarming as related to the educational progression, social perspective and emotional dynamics of boys versus girls. It saddened and challenged me more when I became an actual middle school teacher. I had many experiences with young boys I reached out to (and scolded!)- some who rejected my help and care, others who took the seed I gave and worked hard to bear the fruit because I told them I knew they could- I believed in them and their abilities.
I, however, cannot deny the truth of something a little beyond me in having this heart- that this came from my mother… an individual who has had a heart for boys like I’ve never known for so long. When I was younger and she was pregnant with another girl, my mother went before God in prayer, wrote up a proposal and submitted it to her pastor so she could organize an all-boys step and dance team at church. Once approved, she met with them weekly, teaching them the Word of God as men and choreographed dances WITH them that they ministered at different church functions. It was a way for her to access them spiritually and emotionally while engaging them physically- and she LOVED it!! They loved her so much too. So yeah… I guess you can say “I get it from my mama” haha
Me having “another boy” doesn’t come so much as a surprise considering my heart, my mother but also my husband’s heart for them as well. He used to be a Youth Pastor, mentor to some middle and high school boys, Young Life leader (all boys squad), Boys & Girls director and more, so yeah… it’s in him too. Thankfully, my husband also grew up as one of three boys with one sister. This has made him one of my greatest resources when I have “anatomy” questions (“why is it doing that??!!”), food fumbles (“why are they STILL hungry?!?”) and doubts about them needing me. In learning the sex of the third child, he has also become increasingly aware of people’s sentiments when we tell others we’re having another son. I’ll let him share his own thoughts:
Soooo yeah…The assumption is that every father wants a daddy’s little girl. While this may true in some form, when a father shares the sex of his child and receives responses such as, “are you going to try for a girl next?”, it makes it sound as if the boy was a mistake. Yes, I would be very happy to have a girl but am no less happy to have found it’s a boy. Here are a couple of reasons to stop asking the dumb question above: 1) you do know that we have no control over the sex of the baby, right? 2) you completely look past the blessing that this current child is and invite us to join you in being ungrateful. I have seen too many couples either struggle to conceive children or lose children in pregnancy or infancy to ever complain about the sex of a child. It is a great honor and privilege to be entrusted to raise these 3 boys to men and I wouldn’t trade it for the world! So here is my advise, celebrate with the parents on the new life that is growing inside.
As a mother, I absolutely ADORE raising boys; there is a bond that is formed that cannot be explained. With every kiss on my cheek “just because”, grab of my hand in moments of uncertainty, and strokes of my hair while laying down, that bond is strengthened and my heart explodes for the millionth time even though they did it a few days before. Although I grew up with girls, I would not change ANYTHING about raising boys. Easy clothes, easy hair,
really easy personalities. I believe God knows my heart and purpose better than anyone else- He knows what I need to live a life that glorifies Him and touches others. I think God knows something bigger and better than I do, so why not be happy with His plan for us to have another boy?
Many still want to know, though… “did you ever think about having a girl?” Yes, I can admit that I have had that moment. I daydreamed about having a little girl I could play little girl games with, dress up and play with. However, it’s not time for her yet. There is something God apparently needs to do in my heart, my husband’s heart and the heart of our sons who will touch others and nations in Jesus’ name. Besides, I know without a shadow of a doubt, we WILL have a girl. I’ve seen her in dreams and can tell you every minute detail of her small, round face as she brushes away the hair from mine with her finger. What’s even more amazing is that she won’t look anything like me… she’s going to be adopted.
So YES, WE ARE HAVING ANOTHER BOY… and we are MORE than happy with that 🙂