Aiming Husbands & Fathers…and Sons

When I met my husband and we began to learn more about each other, there was an endurance about him that caught my attention. I mean… we dated for 3.5 years in separate cities, seeing each other ONCE A MONTH. I’d have to say that’s some pretty good endurance in sustaining a relationship! Through it all though, we’ve made it… and will still.

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I notice endurance alot now that he’s my husband. From working out. Studying for a teaching. Starting and finishing a spoken word piece. I always ask him questions – pry his memories – to learn just WHO and WHERE did everything in him come from… like this endurance thing. I wonder… did it come from his parent’s expectations that, once he graduated from high school, coming home was NOT an option? Did it come from the challenge of tackling independent living at 19 without asking for assistance from mom and dad? Did it come from seeing failed financial decisions lead him to homelessness? Or did it come from, despite all of this, persevering in the faith after repentance and with much prayer?

I don’t know. Maybe the latter. Maybe all of it combined. One thing I do know…

I want our sons to exemplify that trait. I want them to endure.

**Please let me say that I often refer to males and boys and sons because I’ve been blessed with three… no daughters. So, please don’t feel as if I’m ignoring girls or daughters. I’m one myself… one of THREE sisters (no brothers). If you have daughters, this DEFINITELY applies to them… EVERYTHING I share can be transcribed for them. Just thought I’d share that 😉

By definition, endurance means:

the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way

I want my sons to endure now, but even of greater worth, to endure in their marriages and as parents. If there’s one thing every husband and father… man of God… should seek to have and grow in, it’s endurance. In marriage, it is SO necessary because we wives are CRAZY! We are more emotional beings than our husbands with our minds on 225 different things. Well… maybe not that many, but it sure does feel like it (thanks to that darn multi-tasking trait). I KNOW for a fact my husband has had to endure through my “silent treatment” days, unwavering and selfish ways… endure to the fulfilling of that beloved vow to the very end. That takes strength because I can be quite unpleasant and difficult when I choose to be (learning on making better choices lol).

As a parent, OH BOY… rather… BOYS! We’ve been gifted with three handsome boys we know are ours to steward. But honestly sometimes? I know my husband just wants to ignore rebellious ways and unkind attitudes the boys exhibit. It gets tiresome, and I’ve seen it get to that point for him. Everyday. Many moments. Repeated instructions. Repeated “trials and tribulations” of 3 and 5 year old drama (yes… it’s real). However, endurance has to kick in so he can remind the boys of whose they are (God’s) and the behavior that is expected and also not tolerated. If endurance did not exist in parenting children, well… just take a look at abortion rates, foster home system, juvenile detention centers and the list goes one. Endurance comes with a blessing at the end of it. Being carelessly lazy and undetermined… a curse. Which do you desire?

So now, the bigger picture comes and confronts me with a question I have to answer: Esther… how are you going to raise sons who know how to endure and become Godly husbands to your daughter-in-loves and fathers to your grandchildren in the future? Ah man…

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Geez. Can’t we slow down??? They’re not even in full grade school yet!

But the question must be asked now because it is here – at home – in these very vital years that character is groomed. Prayed for and prayed over. Taught. Generations down the line are at stake. Not just with how wives, grandchildren and great grandchildren are handled, but most importantly… in who and how they are able to endure SPIRITUALLY until the end.

See, it’s not just about raising Godly husbands and fathers who have endurance. It’s about raising DISCIPLES OF JESUS who will need to endure trials, tribulations and even persecution simply because of their belief in the Christ… as HIS Sons.

“But recall the former days in which, after you were illuminated, you endured a great struggle with sufferings: 33 partly while you were made a spectacle both by reproaches and tribulations, and partly while you became companions of those who were so treated; 34 for you had compassion on me[h] in my chains, and joyfully accepted the plundering of your goods, knowing that you have a better and an enduring possession for yourselves in heaven.[i] 35 Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. 36 For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise…” Hebrews 10:32-36

With all of my heart, that is what I desire for our sons… to see them endure, yes as husbands and fathers, but ultimately as believers of Jesus Christ – SONS of God. To be so desperately in need of Him and seek after Him in weakness and humility of heart. This would be the greatest honor as a mother to see in our sons. Pray for me because I am praying for you too… we all need GOD in order to train our children in this way!

As my husband and I have talked, we don’t know if we will give our sons the option to come home. We DO know we will consider each situation based on circumstance then pray for and obey guidance from the Lord (with wise counsel!). Our sons DO need to become men and learn the ways of life. Will we abandon them? No! My husband’s parents NEVER abandoned him and neither did mine. In all things, we know and must remember that the actions we take as parents speak loudly of how Father God loves His/our boys. God never abandoned us, so we have to mimic the same so they know God will never abandon them as His children.

So… as we seek to aim the arrows of our Future Husbands and Fathers, it is my great prayer they are able to pass through the resisting winds of life’s trials, enduring all that may come so they can hit the target and receive the greatest reward from having the gift of endurance…

Becoming Sons of God and gaining Eternal Life in Christ Jesus.

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