I wanted an answer. I NEEDED an answer. I sought after Him with my whole heart. Well… most of it. Half of it, at least. Okay, okay. I know it wasn’t even that much actually.Prior to this moment, I had made my list of pros and cons, evaluated the situation from all angles and “what if” scenarios. Not a few days later does my husband tell me…
“It doesn’t matter what’s on the list. Climb the mountain with your hands wide open because you understand that, in REALLY seeking God’s will, there’s NOTHING you should be holding onto.” No comforts. No, “I’ll follow you as long as you…” No one and nothing. All in or all out.
We often ask God for guidance, healing, or comfort & peace about a situation. We place stipulations too, asking God to meet us where we are with our plans versus trusting Him and surrendering to His Will. I mean… it’s comfortable where we are. It’s like we inwardly already know that God’s answer is going to rattle our zone, so we don’t go ALL of the way to the throne and really bow down. We just bow our heads and talk WAY more than we listen. The result? We in a way make our own ideals, comforts, and stipulations our gods and label them God, saying He said something to do with it when He did not. Fact is: We just don’t trust Him nor His guidance. He feels inconsiderate of our feelings and the circumstances, and we therefore know how to handle the situation better than He does. Man, that sounds arrogant (talking to myself). He’s convicted us about something, yet we choose to ignore it. We know he wants us to change something, but we are afraid of the unknown and the work of obedience and walk of faith. We are resistant, that is, until God begins to shake things around us and show us that He IS in control. There will be no other god before Him. His Will shall come to pass. And, as a reluctant child forced to go down for a nap, we succumb to His direction and walk by faith. Delayed obedience IS disobedience.
I asked God for an answer for real this time. I sought after Him with my whole heart. He showed me my whole heart. He lovingly yet sternly showed me what I was still secretly holding onto and why.
Then, He answered.
So now, my actions will speak of whether or not I honor, fear and love Him with my whole heart or with what I’m willing to give Him.
“For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” Luke 11:10
“Therefore know that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments.” Deuteronomy 7:9