Having survived my first year as an official homeschool mom, I’ve dared to do it again. Well, sort of. After much prayer and conversation and removal of guilt, the GA Principal and I have decided to continue homeschooling our oldest but send our younger one into a new world -a transitional K5 program.
People always ask me, “Soooo… are you going to keep homeschooling the boys?” or “How long are you going to do this?” My answer is always the same – I’m going to take it year-by-year. Each child is definitely different and in different places. Plus, our first year homeschooling was rough and not everything I envisioned.
As much as I love my babies, homeschooling one while adapting the lessons for the younger one ON TOP OF handling a growing toddler was not ideal. At all. I’m forewarning those who are considering it – DON’T DO IT. (See why??)Although I did use a curriculum last year that provided streaming, which was AMAZINGLY helpful, in retrospect, I felt like 1) it was too much screen time, 2) I wasn’t really involved as much between diaper changes and the other things that come with occupying a one year old (and yes, my own to-do list) and 3) I wasn’t really catering to our 3 year old as much as our 5 year old. I was so focused on getting the lessons done and grades mailed for my oldest that some days, my 3 year old wasn’t a student (like he minded). Again, I had no idea what I was doing or how I figured things would work out. “Winging it” would’ve been the understatement of my life last year (well, kind of. My administrative side HAD to maintain organization).
As the new school approached, I knew things had to change. I asked God many questions, questioned myself and really just focused on praying about God’s Will for each of our boys. The other major thing was finances. I mean… if we DO decide on daycare or PreK, where’s the money going to come from??
God: Have you forgotten who I am?? Psalm 33:8-9
Me: Bwaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh 😦 “I’M SOOOORRY!”
I was reminded of my history with God and it’s this: He’s a faithful provider for His children. So, it was decided and things worked out in ways that only God can get the glory – from the church school chosen to there being only one slot left to there being amazing connections from that place to our new church community to the FUNDS. There’s no way I could have orchestrated these things.
I am at peace with our decision to keep two at home and send one away. I did feel the knot in my throat, breathe leave my lungs and chest drop to the floor when I dropped off my little heart at school, but God’s peace and knowing we’re in his will with this arrow keeps me grounded and excited about this year. Besides, he wouldn’t let me be down about this one. Can you tell? 🙂
I am at peace with homeschooling again as well. Never in a million years would I have chosen to be a S@H mom/homeschooler, but it’s growing on me (I may not say that when we get to a difficult math concept JC can’t get because I’M not explaining it well lol). I may not get everything checked off of my list in every lesson (that’s IF I even HAVE a lesson!) I will feel like I’m in way over my head. I most likely will also feel like all of the prepping and teaching and reviewing is just TOO much for me. And THAT is the perfect place for me to be so I can be LOUDLY reminded not to lean on my own understanding but to fully rest in God, trusting and leaning on Him on how to guide these arrows spiritually and academically. The BEST book on this topic that someone just blessed me with is Teaching from Rest by Sarah Mackenzie. If you homeschool or are thinking about it, GO BUY IT NOW!
Whether you are a first time homeschool mom or veteran, go ahead and decide this year will be different. I’m not talking about the appearance of your school room or corner or what organizational tools you’re going to use. I’m talking about how this year will be different with the appearance and organization of your heart before God – one of HUMILITY as you TRUST God with your arrows’ souls AND their education… even if it’s decided it won’t be coming primarily from you.
As for my two babies at home, I’m looking forward to our adventures this year. I’m PRETTY sure lessons with my big boy will be interrupted with cries & disgusting odors from our little one, but I’m learning that those encounters are from God to have me check my heart & expose my control issues. Besides, after I wipe his tears and give him a clean diaper, I think my little one will fair pretty well alongside his big bro and may even learn a few things himself 🙂