God interrupted. Rudely. Loudly. I don’t know what I was doing, but I do remember feeling anxious & frustrated, then BAM! God stopped me and pointed to something in my roots – fear. Ugh.
Lately, I’ve been stressed about not getting our newborn sick, especially with this ugly flu virus going on (I mean, who’s not??). She became ill the week she came home, and THAT was overwhelming when birth weight expectations were on the line and her body was struggling to just breathe. Insert me – the Nag Queen. Wash your hands! Change your clothes! Cough/sneeze in your elbow… then sanitize! Beyond germs, I’ve been battling how to expand their extra curricular activities without fearing something horrible will happen to them.. My anxiety hasn’t been with just germs though. For awhile now, when my husband leaves to go somewhere at night or doesn’t get home until late, fear of a targeted police stop or even accident is present. When you see it happen so much, how can you not think about it?
God helped me see an abundance of irrational fears across the board that has come out in my words and habits. God showed me a great absence of DEEP, consistent prayer about me and these specific fears. Now, best believe – I canNOT nor will not go a day without prayer. But there is another level of prayer needed that I’ve not been active in concerning all of these fears as a wife to a black man and a mother to little children. Along with this lack of deep prayer, He also showed me pride -how I trust what I know from personal experiences or the experiences of others.
And this is where God placed an exclamation mark: where I say I trust God, I don’t. My fear-filled thoughts and actions reveal the opposite – that I’m lying. They show a great LACK of trust in the sovereign God. My fears of illness or harmful incidents (unrealistically outside the realms of logical fear) could be hindering our kids from experiencing the very things God wants to use to shape their faith…write their stories the way He sees fit. I forgot something very important – HE gave them to me. THEY BELONG TO HIM who has their best interest in mind. This also includes my husband!
So my sinsssssss were identified and confessed to God and my husband (and you now, huh?). Now what? Study the Bible, seek answers, pray His Word then DO. There are SO many verses related to fear, and I’m currently working on posting them around my home. As individuals, spouses and parents, it can be so easy to let fear in and make its home in our hearts and habits. However, we cannot settle. We cannot not normalize the fears that bind our minds and puppet our actions. Expose them. Confess them. Evict them. And then replace them with TRUTH from God’s Word.
I don’t know if God will interrupt you like He did me (probably). Maybe this post IS your interruption. Either way, let’s both be grateful. He’s got much to do and apparently fear is standing in the way of Him doing those things through you and I.
“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4, NIV
“So do not fear, for I am with you’ do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.“ Isaiah 41:10, NIV
They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.” Psalm 112:7, NIV